this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
