Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
