the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
