yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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