so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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