i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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