i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
