somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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