I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
