His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
