He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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