just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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