that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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