i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
