I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
