I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
