this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
