Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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