Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
