Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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