she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
