i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
