woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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