i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
