He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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