I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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