you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
