Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
