Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
