we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
