My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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