I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
