i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
