I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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