I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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