I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
