I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
