at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
and she was petting her beer can
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I want a musical about memes.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
