Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
