every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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