woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
