I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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