you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
