I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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