Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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