I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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