**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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