I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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