I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
