Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
where are my eyebrows?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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