All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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